Show Your Love for the LDS Storymakers Contest

Conference count down is on... just a few months away.  For those interested - here is a link to a competition geared around spreading the word to would be authors, aspiring to write that first novel... or for those who already have.  I'm in the first group still... but hopefully not for long.

http://ldstorymakerauthors.blogspot.com/2010/02/show-your-love-for-storymakers-contest.html

Oh the pain!

I am trying to get the first chapter of my first novel - Finding Home - ready to submit to a first chapter competition and a few months ago I came to the painful realization that I had gone way too deep in describing my heroin's emotions rather than letting the story show her emotions.  I came across some great writing tips and have copied the section related to writing a first chapter below. These tips deeply resonated with me and so I painfully began the process of hacking my first chapter apart.

I faced two problems.  First: the first chapter did not contain a lot of dialogue or action - it was 4500 words filled with feelings, emotions and flash backs that while interesting and meaningful (especially to me as the author), much of it was not critical to the main story line.  Second: my second chapter is where the story explodes with great dialogue, conflict and plot.  So... what did I do?  I swallowed my pride, got my sharpest axe out, and began to iteratively chop away at hours and hours of literary prose.  My goal: to combine the first two chapters (8,451 words) into one super chapter without all the extras.  If you have not written a substantial text before where you believe it's all good and then been asked to cut it in half... I don't think you can begin to understand how hard this is.

I am happy to report that my 8,451 word chapter (combined first/second chapters) is now at a much healthier 4,503 words, and the bulk of cuts came from my original first chapter - almost 4000 words worth (don't worry - it's all stored in a safe place). The initial pain of going through this exercise has been extremely rewarding as I believe I now have a first chapter with legs to stand on.  The pace is much quicker, and rather than being told, the reader gets to experience what it is like to be dropped off at a home they've never seen before and to be stuck with a family that could not be more different than they are and told - "This is your new home."  And yes... I've still got some more hacking to do.

TIPS FOR THE FIRST CHAPTER


1. Make sure the first chapter starts with action.

2. Show, don't tell. This means you don't need a one paragraph description of a bedroom, a character's thoughts on everything, and for goodness sake don't put any backstory in the first chapter.

3. Keep it short. It doesn't have to be James Patterson short, but a ten page first chapter is better than a thirty page first chapter when it comes to grabbing attention.

4. Watch your POV... try to stick in one character's mind for the whole chapter.

5. Cut everything that doesn't move the action forward. EVERYTHING. If it moves the story forward, or gives us a better feel for the characters, put it in a later chapter, but not the first. Leave the reader wanting more, not knowing everything.

6. You probably don't need a prologue. Editors often cut them, and readers often skip them. Try to remove it and see if the story suffers. If you really believe you need one, don't make it longer than a few pages.

7. And this is the most important---trust yourself. You've been writing since you were four. You know how to craft a sentence. Not eveything needs to be rewritten---sometimes it comes out right the first time.

Chapter 17: Chosen (The End!)

I did it! This last chapter took longer than I had hoped, but I have officially written my second novel. The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, is completed at 55,365 words, which equates to 99 pages in word (8.5 x 11) or 150-200 book pages depending on how it is formatted. It is the perfect length for the audience it is intended for - middle school/Junior High age kids. Granted, I have a lot of work in front of me to get it ready to submit to a publisher (lots of editing), but it feels great to know that I finished the novel, and even more that I am really happy with it.

I originally thought that chapter 16 would be the last chapter, but as I already blogged about, Howie had other plans. Chapter 17 ends with one more fantastic action scene that really helps tidy things up and sets the stage for the future. So what comes next? I'm not sure. Only time will tell if Howard Adelmar's story gets to live on.

I have a writing conference I am attending in February and another one in April. I am also submitting the first chapter of this book (and my other book Finding Home) to a First Chapter competition that is a part of the conference in April (due in March), which means I will probably spend the next couple of months heavily editing both books. But first things first... I need to print out the rest of my book so that my family can finish reading the story, AND I need to go home and do my victory dance. After all, it’s not every day that you finish a full length novel - especially in just three months!

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness
12. Flesh and Blood
13. The Lackawanna Prophecies
14. The Devil's Backyard
15. The Bottomless Pit
16. Blackstone
17. Chosen

Chapter 16: Blackstone

I have to admit that as a writer I finished chapter sixteen a little disappointed, but in a good way. I thought for sure that this would be the last chapter of The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, and I was so excited to be able to report back to you that I had finished, but blast that Howie... he apparently had other plans. I think Howie is developing a bit of an ego because he's just not ready to be out of the spot light... demanding that I dig deeper. So the legend of Howard Adelmar lives on - at least for one more chapter, which I suppose is ironic justice because the number seventeen is a prime number, and it has my creative juices pumping.

I did, however, reach one goal: I crossed the magical 50,000 word count threshold, which in most literary circles is what you need to reach to have your book be considered a novel. I hope you don't mind if I take a brief moment to pat myself on the back - and not just because of this milestone. What has given me the greatest pleasure has been to see my wife, and especially my kids since that is who the I am writing the novel for, absolutely devour the story. They ask me every day with abated breath if I have finished the last chapter... desperately wanting to see what happens next - to know how it ends.  What they don't know is that this is just the beginning for Howard Adelmar!

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness
12. Flesh and Blood
13. The Lackawanna Prophecies
14. The Devil's Backyard
15. The Bottomless Pit
16. Blackstone

Chapter 15: The Bottomless Pit

There is something to be said for a little peace and quiet. I struggled to write this chapter over the past few days with all of the holiday noise... and then last night I found some alone time and the story just flowed, allowing me to get completely caught up in Howie's world - emotionally connected in what I call an authentic writing moment. The Bottomless Pit is definitely the climax of the The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, and I am thrilled with how it turned out - hopefully one of those "No way!" moments that readers have when the author throws a twist at them that they never saw coming, but that feels right and makes perfect sense, one that the book wouldn't be complete without. The readers will be the judge... and I hope someday there will be many of them!

At 49,354 words... chapter fifteen is done - right on track for my targetted 50,000 word count and only one closing chapter left to write.  Hip hip hooray!  Zach... I hope you're ready for this one.... :)

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness
12. Flesh and Blood
13. The Lackawanna Prophecies
14. The Devil's Backyard
15. The Bottomless Pit

Chapter 14: The Devil's Backyard

I had a vote over what to name this chapter and "The Devil's Backyard," is the one that my wife and kids chose.  I like it too.  The pace is moving quite fast now... and the climax is near.  A brilliant twist came to me last night as I lay awake tossing and turning in bed, trying to figure out how to get to the end of this book.  I think I have two chapters left at the most... but I never know for sure until they are written.  With chapter fourteen in the books, I am now at 46,227 words - a healthy number for this kind of book, and right on track to finish in the 50,000 word range.  Not bad for two months work

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness
12. Flesh and Blood
13. The Lackawanna Prophecies
14. The Devil's Backyard

Chapter 13: The Lackawanna Prophecies

This chapter took longer to write than I had hoped it would... but I am pleased with the end result.  In this chapter, Howie continues to learn about the hidden world and powers that have recently been revealed to him and most importantly why and what he was chosen for.  The end is nearing - I can feel it, although Christmas might not be in the picture for finishing the book like I had hoped it would.  Maybe the New Year :)  Its so hard... to balance my time writing with time at home, work, the holidays, time with my wife, my kids, getting ready for Christmas, doing Scouts, and yes, watching football :)  I think I have too many priorities.

I think the the key is to just keep writing...  not unlike the jingle from Finding Nemo where Dora says, "Just keep swimming... just keep swimming," I have to do the same... Just keep writing... just keep writing... and someday I'll wake up and my book will be done.

Have a Merry Christmas

43,487 words written!

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness
12. Flesh and Blood
13. The Lackawanna Prophecies

Chapter 12: Flesh and Blood

Ok - so "Flesh and Blood" sounds worse than it is... the Lackwanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, is targetted towards middle school kids after all, but it is a GREAT chapter title, and it is very much reflective of what this chapter is about. This is the chapter where everything bad that has happened to Howie up to this point starts to make sense for both Howie and the reader - where his new world (so to speak) comes into focus.  As a result this was one of the most challenging chapters to write, only complicated further by the fact that it introduces an entirely new set of characters that have been there all along the way.

Almost 40,000 words written now and chapter 13 is next... which could not come at a more perfect time, given the symbolism of the number 13 that I use throughout the book.

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness
12. Flesh and Blood

Chapter 11: Treasures of Darkness

So yes... I'm still cruising along with The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, and the creative juices are pumping, sometimes keeping up very late at night.  I was up until 4:30am one night this week and almost 2am another because after trying to sleep for two hours I couldn't stand it anymore and finally had to get up and pound out what was coursing through my brain.  This Howie kid won't leave me alone, and I kind of like that.

I LOVED writing this chapter - Treasures of Darkness - as it just poured out of me and was almost effortless. I am now in this over 35,000 words strong and am defintiely at or past the half way point to completing this book.

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow
10. Cursed
11. Treasures of Darkness

My First Writer's Conference

It's official.  I am signed up to attend my first professional writer's conference - April 23-24, 2010.  As a part of this I will be giving a one on one pitch of my new book Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, to Nephele Tempest, from the The Knight Agency (this is not an LDS Agency).  I had hoped to pitch to Lauran Rennert with Andrea Brown Literary Agency but her pitch session was sold out by the time I found out about this conference.  I've had her on my agency watch list for over a year now.  At least I will still get to meet her and introduce myself.

I will be attending several lectures, workshops and of course my chance to pitch my book.  It's hard to describe how excited I am for this, but the biggest thing is just an opportunity to network with other authors and publishers.  All attendees can also participate in a First Chapter contest for unpublished works for several genres.  So... it's time to hit the keyboard and to let the creative juices flow - I've got another deadline and a goal.

So I didn't make it

I am dissapointed to report that I didn't complete the 50,000 word novel in one month, but the last week of November was filled with house guests for the holiday and I did almost no writing.  I did make it to 27,000 words though and I am REALLY happy with what I have so far.  My new goal is to finish the first draft of Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, by Christmas.  This has been a fantastic book to write, and I am excited to see where it will end (although I do have a vauge idea).

What's in a Chapter Title?

One of my favorite parts about writing children's fiction is coming up with cool and creative chapter titles.  The Lackawanna Prophecies - CHOSEN, is my first attempt at children's literature and it has been nothing short of a breathtaking literary experience for me.  There are no rules when it comes to a child's imagination and crawling back into that persona has been rejuvinating.  Here are the chapters I have written thus far:

1. The Thirteenth Locker
2. The Golden Key
3. Invisible
4. Burning Hand
5. War
6. Smoking Nostrils
7. Accidents Happen All The Time
8. Myra Omenski Is Dead
9. The Black Shadow

So... while I love I am in love with these chapter titles and especially the content beneath them, what does it do for you?  Would these chapter titles alone be enough to pull you in... to start to get a picture of the world of Howard Adelmar?

Excerpts from The Lackawanna Prophecies

A few teasers from my new book I am working on...

------

Ma had told me to expect to see and experience new things as my body changed, but this was way off the charts. I was having a hard time believing that disappearing people, burning hands, and Jude’s sudden and wild mood swings, and shifty behavior had anything to do with puberty. If Jude had been a girl, maybe – but he wasn’t; there just wasn’t any logical explanation for what was happening to us, and I resented the fact that he was trying to blame me for everything that had happened.

------

We were just a few hours into our first day of school at Carbondale High, and somehow we had both dramatically changed. After having spent our entire life on the same track, it was like someone had mysteriously thrown a switch and sent us careening off in different directions while we were still moving at full speed. And the thing that made me angrier than anything was that it didn’t feel like either of us had chosen the new path that we were on; it just happened.

------

We stood there staring at each other, neither one of us willing to back down. This was new territory for both of us; we had never fought before, not like this. Jude refused to answer my questions about Adrian or his sudden change in attitude, and at the same time I was holding back information about Kevin, the key and the fact that somehow I had made it through the senior wing twice without anyone seeing me. We were both guilty of hiding secrets, and even though neither of us was willing to admit it, we both knew it to be true.

------

           Mr. Xavier blew his whistle. “Listen up,” the muscle bound gym teacher shouted. He had on a tight white t-shirt, and khaki swim trunks. “I thought we’d start the year out with something new – water polo.”
           “Are you kidding,” Tyson said, “What you think this is, Club Med? Man wake up, you in Carbondale!”
           “And you are?” the new teacher asked.
           “Tyson Carter, sir,” he said, saluting.
           “Well, Tyson, that doesn’t mean you can’t expand your horizons.”
           “Don’t I look like I’ve expanded enough,” he said pointing to the hefty rolls of fat that folded over his uncomfortably tight swim trunks. The entire class, including Mr. Xavier burst into laughter at his self-appointed joke.

Vince Flynn

Vince Flynn is one of my favorite political thriller authors. Packed with action and intrigue crafted around plausible real world scenarios, I have fallen in love with his series featuring Mitch Rapp.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

For me, this book, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer, is my best read of 2009.  My sister recommended it and while it started just a tad slow for me, once it got going I didn't want to put it down. The style of the book (written as a series of letters) is VERY clever and it is based on actual events on the island of Guernsey off the UK coast during the German occupation.  A must read for anyone who loves great literature.  On a side note, it was Mary Ann's first and only published novel. She passed away in February of 2008.  I hope that I get to publish many books before my time comes.

The Lackawanna Prophecies: Chosen

This is the title of my new novel I am working on, and which I hope to have completey written in the month of November. For those interested, here is a brief synoposis:

SYNOPSIS
The Lackawanna Prophecies say that there is one who will rise up in the black city that time forgot, who will bring back hope and promise of a better future, a stronger tomorrow, and this is the story of how an unknowing thirteen year old boy, Howard Adelmar, was chosen. After a tiresome summer of begging his ma, she finally agreed to let him transfer from Sacred Heart, a small private Catholic school, to Carbondale High, a combined public Junior/Senior High School in an old run down mining town in Eastern Pennsylvania. Howie doesn't believe in superstitions, but when he is assigned locker number thirteen, a series of crazy events begin to unfold on his first day of school, turning his world upside down as he gets sucked into a dangerous and thrilling age-old struggle of good versus evil. Burning hands, smoking nostrils, vanishing students, and a dead girl at the foot of his locker, and that's just his first day of school - a place where nothing is as it seems!

Write a 50,000 word novel in one month!

I am officially in. I just learned from a friend of mine that November is National Novel Writing Month. The acronym often used for this is "NaNoWriMo." He told me about this when I informed him that in the last week I had written the first 13,000 words of my new novel. So now I am officially going to try and finish my novel before the end of the month. Just a couple of weeks to go to get to at least 50,000 words (official competition rules). I don't like trying to write to a prescribed number of words, but this book is a children's/young adult book so it should end up being right around there.

I have provided a link to my NaNoWriMo profile below. Wish me luck!

http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/608798